Talli's blog

Empathy and listening: tools to improve sexual desire

Submitted by Talli on Sun, 08/14/2016 - 08:23

Psychologists Gurit Birnbaum of the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya, Israel and Harry Reis of the University of Rochester have studied the empathy effect at the beginning of relationships. Across three different studies, they examined the impact that feeling cared about and understood by a listener might have on a subject's desire for that person. 


Podcast on the pelvic pain: creating a therapeutic alliance

Submitted by Talli on Fri, 07/01/2016 - 15:44

In this podcast, I am unterviewed by Dr. Alexandra Milspaw, about topics that relate to my upcoming presentation at the International Pelvic Pain Society conference in Chicago in October.


Did I marry the wrong person?

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 06/21/2016 - 06:59

Some couples marry with feelings of joy and anticipation, others with expectation bust also no small amount of trepidation. Either way, there are times when individuals ask themselves, 'did I marry the right person?'


Sanctity and pleasure, feminists and rabbis

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 05/17/2016 - 09:07

Originally published in Times of Israel


‘Trans’forming our attitudes in a ‘world gone mad’

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 05/17/2016 - 09:03

Originally appeared in Times of Israel


"Halachic Positions" A book review

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 03/15/2016 - 09:31

Opriginally posted in Morethodoxy


The challenge of 'arranged marriage'

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 03/15/2016 - 09:25

"Shidduchim" are the Orthodox version of the 'arranged marriage'. The extent to which a couple "knows" one another, as subject rather than object, is variable. This article  from Psychology Today well describes the challenges inherent in "caring before knowing". Incidentally, the biblical expression for marital consummation, is "to know."


The truth about 'Pink Viagra'

Submitted by Talli on Thu, 03/03/2016 - 14:45

Originally posted in Times of Israel


Ten Valentine’s Day tips for a loving marriage

Submitted by Talli on Sun, 02/14/2016 - 21:12

Valentine’s Day is a Christian holiday, so, growing up in America, we Jewish kids were affected culturally, rather than ritually. Just as the M&Ms turned orange in late October, mid-February meant chocolate treats shaped in hearts and wrapped in red foil, authorized of course, by the OU.


Couples therapy is effective when sex is painful

Submitted by Talli on Sat, 01/09/2016 - 20:30
Pain with intercourse, or attempted intercourse is a medical condition which requires diagnosis by a medical doctor, preferably a gynecologist specializing in vulvar pain conditions. One of the most common conditions causing pain is PVD (provoked vestibulodynia) also known as vulvodynia, or vestibulitis. Once diagnosed, the physician will likely prescribe approriate treatments including physical therapy. However, medical treatment alone, may not be enough to address the distress of a couple attempting to enjoy a satisfying intimate life.In heterosexual couples, the woman experiencing  pain often feels guilty and “at fault” for wanting to avoid any intimacy due to the fear that any touch will lead to intercourse, and often the mail partner feels resentful and rejected. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine highlights the importance of couples therapy in the multidisciplinary treatment of sexual pain. Paquet and colleagues demonstrate that many couples experiencing sexual pain, perceive injustice about having to deal with sexual pain , and in fact, in my clinical practice, couples frequently express that they feel they are the only ones dealing with while their friends and contemporaries are are likely enjoying a wonderful sex life. This injustice is associated with more sexual distress, and the authors suggest targeting these feelings in couples therapy.